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My female partner hit me

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Domestic violence is rampant in Canada—and hard to escape. But the justice system is evolving to better serve survivors. He hit her so many, many times. Someone did hurt them. She told the court about the night nine months earlier, in January , when she heard the garage door open and knew Jake was home.

SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: 7 Signs of an "Emotionally Abusive Relationship" (All Women MUST WATCH)

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SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: Woman hits husband with laptop in Miami for looking at other women

Can domestic abusers be rehabilitated?

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It can be really worrying when someone you care about is being hurt or abused by their partner. This guide will help in supporting female and male victims of abuse. However we encourage supporters of men who are being abused to use this guide. Coronavirus COVID and family violence If you know someone who might be experiencing family violence, find out what to look out for and how you can provide support. Much of this abuse is witnessed by children. Some women are abusive in relationships.

Women in lesbian relationships, and men in gay relationships can also be abusive to their partners. She never judged me or made me feel like it was my fault. She helped me think about what to do, looked after my kids to give me a break, and was there when I needed her.

But her support made a big difference. Every couple has arguments or disagreements. In a respectful and equal relationship, both partners feel free to state their opinions, to make their own decisions, to be themselves, and to say no to sex.

But this is not the case when someone is abusive. In an abusive relationship, one partner tries to dominate the other through physical harm, criticisms, demands, threats, or sexual pressure. For the victim and her children, this behaviour can be very dangerous, frightening, confusing and damaging. Psychological or emotional abuse can be just as harmful as physical abuse. Abuse in a relationship is never acceptable, regardless of the circumstances, and is never the fault of the victim.

Abuse happens because the abuser wants to control and manipulate the other person. Physical and sexual assault, threats and stalking are crimes and can be reported to the police. But the put-downs and manipulation were so much worse, the way he controlled my life. I really wish my family could have understood how horrible it was.

Sometimes there may be signs that indicate that there is abuse. But often there will be nothing obvious. It can be hard to understand why someone would stay in a relationship if she is being treated so badly. Leaving may appear to be a simple solution. You might think that the abuse is partly her fault because she puts up with it, or that she is weak or stupid if she stays.

It is hard to imagine what it is like to be abused when you are not in the situation yourself. From the outside, it may seem easier to leave than it actually is.

It can be very difficult to leave an abusive partner. This is an important thing for friends and family to understand. This will only reinforce her low confidence and feelings of guilt and self-blame. Leaving an abusive partner may sometimes be quite dangerous. The abuse may continue or increase after she leaves. Help her to weigh up her feelings, to decide what she can do, and to consider her safety whether she decides to stay or to leave.

She might want to contact a service to talk about how to protect herself. That made me feel worse. He made me feel so guilty. I thought how important it was for the children to have a father.

It was all a way of manipulating me to come back. I was really upset because she was my only close friend in Australia and I really needed someone to talk to, and help me to see that the way he treated me was wrong. But it is equally worrying if someone is being abused and you say nothing. Your support can make a difference. You might risk some embarrassment if you approach her and she rejects your support or tells you your suspicions are wrong.

But if you approach her sensitively, without being critical, most people will appreciate an expression of concern for their well-being, even if they are not ready to talk about their situation. If they had said that I was a good person and that they were there if I needed them, it would have made getting out a lot easier. Approach your friend or relative in a sensitive way, letting her know your own concerns.

For example. She might be scared of worrying you if she tells you about the abuse. She may not be ready to admit to being abused, or may feel ashamed and afraid of talking about it. She might have difficulty trusting anyone after being abused. Be patient, and keep an ear out for anything that indicates they are ready to talk about the abuse. The most important thing you can do is to listen without judging, respect her decisions, and help her to find ways to become stronger and safer.

All you have to do is give your time and love without being judgemental. I just needed the time to think and work out my feelings without the kids being around all the time. These are just some ideas.

It is important that you only say what you believe, and use your own words. The way he treats you is wrong. What can I do to help you? How do you think his behaviour has affected you? How do you think his behaviour is affecting your children? What do you think you should do? What are you afraid of if you leave? What are you afraid of if you stay? When talking to someone who is being abused, some things may not help, or may stop her from wanting to confide in you fully.

Whether she is staying in the relationship or has separated, it is important to think about how she can be protected from further abuse. If you believe there is immediate physical danger and that she and her children are about to be harmed, call the police on immediately. If you do have the opportunity to talk to her at another time, ask about whether or not she would like you to call the police. She may fear that calling the police may make things worse for her.

Many people are afraid of involving the police, especially those from non-English speaking backgrounds or indigenous communities who may have had bad past experiences. You could call a domestic violence service to find out about how you could help in this situation. Supporting a friend or relative who is being abused can be frustrating, frightening and stressful.

You need to look after yourself and to get support too. Explain your fears, but let her know you will still support her. Talk to other friends or contact a service for information on what you can do. She can also get support from the services listed at the end of this guide.

Be careful. If the person who is being abusive is your friend or relative, you may feel caught in the middle. It is important to understand that if you approach the person who is abusive, he or she may:.

None of these responses mean that he or she is not abusive. It is common for a person who is being abusive to deny or minimise the abuse. If the abusive person is female, she can contact her local Community Health Service. If you do observe abuse, and you feel safe or able to, talk about the behaviour you have observed.

But if you only know about the abuse because the victim has talked to you about it, check with her first before saying anything to her partner. Her partner could become more abusive to her if he or she thinks she has told someone. A man speaking to another man, or a woman speaking to another woman about their abusive behaviour can be a helpful way of approaching this issue.

In Victoria, and in other states, there are 24 hour crisis hotlines, as well as local Domestic Violence Services which can provide information and practical support in finding safe accommodation, housing, or obtaining legal or financial assistance. You can call these for information, or pass the number on to your friend or family member.

See Services in Victoria. Skip to main content. Is what you do important? Your help can make a great difference to someone who is abused. Your response to her situation is really important. Abuse in relationships is quite common, and is mainly committed by men against women. Signs that someone is being abused She seems afraid of her partner or is always very anxious to please him or her.

She has stopped seeing her friends or family, or cuts phone conversations short when her partner is in the room. Her partner often criticises her or humiliates her in front of other people. She says her partner pressures or forces her to do sexual things. Her partner often orders her about or makes all the decisions for example, her partner controls all the money, tells her who she can see and what she can do.

She has become anxious or depressed, has lost her confidence, or is unusually quiet.

I stayed with my abusive girlfriend out of fear she would kill me

Here, Kelly describes how she found herself committing to Caleb — a man she thought was "funny, warm, and supportive" at first. But after the birth of their son, Reed, Caleb revealed a violent and dangerous dark side that, in addition to a lingering depression, was difficult for Kelly to grapple with — until a perceptive therapist helped her understand what was really going on in her own home. The day the test came back with two blue stripes, I put on my jeans and The Flicks T-shirt — the one with Alfred Hitchcock on the back — and drove to work. The Flicks was an indie movie house, and I worked there with artsy types who had lines of poetry tattooed on their forearms, dyed hair, and Converse sneakers.

The subject who is truly loyal to the Chief Magistrate will neither advise nor submit to arbitrary measures. This article was published more than 5 years ago. Some information in it may no longer be current.

It was during a fight on a New York City street corner, over a subject I've long since forgotten. But the punch — thrown as I leaned in to make a point, thrown reflexively, out of unchecked rage — stayed with me. It didn't hurt that much, tagging me just below the left ear. But it caused serious damage. I didn't hit back, cry, or scream "You monster!

Women Who Hit Men

Alex's partner was the first woman jailed for coercive and controlling behaviour in the UK. Now he's trying to fight the stigma around male domestic abuse. I was very scared of her. I can still see that first tiny drop of water falling onto my skin. It all happened in slow motion. Afterwards, my skin was curdling. I begged her to let me get in a bath filled with cold water — it was the only thing I could think of that would stop the burning. She allowed me to get in, and the relief was instant. You can't imagine how incredible it feels to sink your body into freezing water after that.

Can domestic abusers be rehabilitated?

It can be really worrying when someone you care about is being hurt or abused by their partner. This guide will help in supporting female and male victims of abuse. However we encourage supporters of men who are being abused to use this guide. Coronavirus COVID and family violence If you know someone who might be experiencing family violence, find out what to look out for and how you can provide support.

He'd decided to pay off a loan without telling me and we'd gone overdrawn. I was worried and tried to discuss it with him, at which point he left the room.

Introduction Women may be afraid of strangers, but it's a husband, a lover, a boyfriend, or someone they know who is most likely to hurt them. According to a U. Justice Department study, two-thirds of violent attacks against women are committed by someone the woman knows. In the United States, one of the most dangerous places for a woman is her own home.

How one Ontario woman finally escaped her abusive husband

Being mistreated by the person you love—especially when physical abuse is involved—is one of the most frightening and traumatic experiences a woman can face, and it is hard to know what to do when it happens. A woman who is a victim of violence faces a particularly complicated dilemma. Should she stay or go? For instance, victimized women often love and feel committed to their partner, or they want to help him.

SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: My Husband Beats Me

You may think that the way you treat or talk to your spouse is normal when in reality it is abusive. Sometimes it is hard to tell if you are, as you may not have the level of insight necessary to figure this out. Or, you may think your behavior is "normal" because you grew up in a household of abusiveness, dysfunction, or negativity. Abuse can occur verbally, mentally, and psychologically. It will undermine the trust, connection, and bond that must exist in your relationship for your marriage to succeed and be healthy.

I Had No Idea My Husband Was Abusing Me

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Jul 8, - Interesting question. It raises so many issues over domestic violence. I am totally against violence in a relationship and my first reaction was Yes, leave  What do I do when my wife hits me? - Quora.

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Comments: 2
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  2. Arashira

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