What does a man need emotionally
Photo Credit: Manchik Photography. Interpreting emotional cues is a constant source of struggle and consternation for those of us trying to have a meaningful connection with a member of the opposite sex. But, in the same way that women come with different personalities and strengths, so do the men in your life. If you find yourself struggling to connect with your boyfriend or husband, paying closer attention to these basic guidelines could be just the thing to help you bring out his emotional side. Sometimes a guy just might need to be alone.SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: The Secret to Making Emotionally Unavailable Men Chase (The Power of Regression)
SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: Emotionally Unavailable PsychologyContent:
Understanding Men Emotionally
We hear a lot of talk about the oppression of women, but do we really hear any talk about the oppression of men? Quite frankly, I never have. At least not in the way I'm about to explain. As a life coach and hairstylist for 25 years, I have had my share of up close and personal conversations with men. I have also gotten polar conversations from women. I've always been fascinated with people and romantic relationships and have compiled a large amount of organic data through both my careers and relationships of my own.
He will ride into her life atop his steed, emotionally healthy and always doing the right thing. He will be complete and whole in his emotional body and deliver her from all the evils of the world! I think it's about time someone advocates for the men out there because quite frankly, this has gotten way out of control.
Somehow through the passage of time and in addition to television, movies and fairy tale stories, men have been stigmatized to have to be darn near close to perfection. Women have gotten the insane notion that this God-like human is going to sweep into their lives and rescue them from all the bad men who came before them and heal their insecurities and frailties.
He'll know just what to say and just how to do it. He will build me a beautiful house, buy me pretty gifts, let me cry on his shoulder, put his jacket over rain puddles, brush my hair and always, always take care of me.
What a tremendous amount of pressure to put on a person. No wonder there are so many males afraid of commitment. I would be too. Today I am going to bat for the heart of men -- the soul behind the brawn. The little boy who had is heart broken by his father or mother or was bullied through school. The men who weren't allowed to talk about their pain or given tools to transcend their fears.
The men who repressed their feelings in order not to feel ashamed or guilty. Ladies, I know men who have gone through all types of painful backgrounds and dysfunctional relationships and here's the whopper I think we have been doing our men a grave disservice when we attach a persona to them that they cannot possible live up to and then feel let down when OMG he has a weak moment!
Today I'd like to give our men a fighting chance to heal their hearts and their stories. I'd like our men to be emotionally supported. I'd like to give men the same attention women get when their hearts are broken or they are repressing a painful experience of their past. You see, the issue is our men are not being given the opportunity to be human. They are not allowed to cry, fail or be weak.
I heard a man say to an author at a speaker's conference, "My wife and daughters would rather see me die than fall off my white horse. That was the day I decided that the world needs a change in perspective regarding the males in our lives.
Men suffer painful stories as equally as women; however, they are taught to repress their emotion by their repressed fathers and father figures and the pathology continues on. To the men reading this because I know you are I ask if you can recall a time you were told to:. I bet the farm you have. In fact, I can imagine it's a fairly high percentage. You are not alone. If men were "allowed" to openly discuss their pain, I believe the shame attached to feeling emotion would decrease immensely!
Ladies, it is time for us to stop this madness not only for our partners and the state of our romantic unions, but for the children we are bringing up. It's time for us to shift the outdated perception of:. As the sacred feminine, we have the power to help our men heal their wounds and teach our sons a new way of being in the world. Unhealed wounds in either party is the number one cause of divorce. Behind any disempowered behavior is an unhealed wound. This is not a gender specific issue; this is a human being issue.
Your man's heart is as big as yours. He loves as deeply as anyone else and he can be hurt just as easily by the words and behaviors of others. Just because he isn't publically displaying it does not mean it's not there.
Bring me any man's unsavory behavior and I will find the unhealed wound behind it. When I read that quote I knew I was going to write an article to back it up. What I hear in these words is that a loving, good woman has the capacity to serve as the gateway to a man's healing and becoming if she chooses to see him as imperfect and fallible, but lovable nonetheless.
I believe we must understand that men are not put into our lives to save us. As a couple, we are put into one another's lives to save each other! A Course in Miracles speaks of the difference between a Holy Relationship and a special relationship. The Holy Relationship is one where both parties equally show up to help one another heal their fears and pain while supporting their growth opportunities and potential. A special relationship is based on what we can "get" from our partner.
The question is "What can I get from you? It has been said, "Behind every great man is a great woman. What is does mean is men and women achieve far greater success and achievement when they are supported by a loving, compassionate partner.
Like any human being on this planet, we all need a soft place to fall. As depicted in movies like Braveheart and , the "hero" had a strong, loving woman supporting him who allowed him to break down and cry on her breast. She didn't judge him, she supported him. She stepped up to meet his heart and offered her love. The truth ladies is this, men are not going to say, "Hold me! Your man does not need more negativity, shame or stigmas attached to him.
He needs your kindness, love, security and tenderness. Love heals all wounds. Ego, fear, control and manipulation perpetuates them. The next time you feel compelled to attach a perceived persona to your man and then feel terribly disappointed when he falls short, I invite you to ask yourself this: How can I better support him right now? Don't be discouraged if your new course of action doesn't work right away.
If you have a backstory of non-support, he most likely won't trust your motive. Instead learn to see the soul inside your man. Learn to understand his hidden emotions and act from this new perspective. Teach him that you are trustworthy of holding his innermost feelings and fears sacred. Provide a solid place for him to open his heart to you. He may try to push you away or tell you he's fine or doesn't need your help, but I implore you to keep on keepin' on.
After all you are dealing with a societal norm. This doesn't mean become pushy or smothering to him. It means teach him over time that you have his back. That he can trust you like no other person on this planet.
That you see both his strengths and his weaknesses and you love him just the same. For more information on Kristen or to contact her for personal coaching, please visit her website at: www. US Edition U. Coronavirus News U. HuffPost Personal Video Horoscopes.
To the men reading this because I know you are I ask if you can recall a time you were told to: Suck it up! Stop being a pansy! Man up! Quit being a baby! Men don't cry! I was recently in a yoga studio that had this quote on the wall: "The role of every woman is to birth the God in every man".
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What Do Men Need in a Relationship?
You may have married Honest Abe, but many men still keep some of their emotions top secret. A relationship expert explains why they stay so hush-hush. However, research has found a number of surprising parallels.
Studies consistently show that men and women are not very different in their wants and needs. Perhaps there are differences, but science has not found a way to measure them. Experts who speak on the subject acknowledge that differences do persist and work to bridge the gap between men and women, helping women understand what men want and need in relationships. While a man's needs are highly individual, there are some general guidelines to knowing what a man needs in a relationship. Men's needs in relationships with women differ depending on the relationship status.
The Repressed Man: What He Really Needs From His Partner
We hear a lot of talk about the oppression of women, but do we really hear any talk about the oppression of men? Quite frankly, I never have. At least not in the way I'm about to explain. As a life coach and hairstylist for 25 years, I have had my share of up close and personal conversations with men. I have also gotten polar conversations from women. I've always been fascinated with people and romantic relationships and have compiled a large amount of organic data through both my careers and relationships of my own. He will ride into her life atop his steed, emotionally healthy and always doing the right thing. He will be complete and whole in his emotional body and deliver her from all the evils of the world!
9 Secrets Men Keep From Women
Men are often reluctant to talk about their needs in intimate relationships. We need frequent reassurance about ourselves, our career paths, our efficacy as partners, our sexual prowess , and our attractiveness among other things. I have countless male clients telling me every month that their partners rarely let them know what they like about them. Why not just have more of a good thing? So ladies, let your praise loose.
A few weeks ago I posted a blog about 5 Qualities every woman should look for in a man. Contrary to what society wants to portray we are not these physical animals that only need sex, sustenance and sleep to survive. We have needs that extend beyond the physical.
Men and Emotional Hibernation
This article will focus on what men wished women knew about them by listing just a few ways women can better understand their partners. Men and women are different. Our brains are wired differently, our hormones are different and our emotional needs are different.
For some reason, men have a hard time opening up emotionally. So the question is — are men really emotionally detached or are they just wired to not share their deepest and darkest with us women? From a guys perspective, they need to have it all together no matter what, so they detach from their feelings so that they CAN keep it all together. So why would he want to share that with you? A guy being transparent about such things is hard to come by — possibly because of the standard that society holds him to; possibly because you are unintentionally disregarding his feelings or giving him the impression that he HAS to hold it together — otherwise the family would fall apart.
6 Ways Men Deal With Emotions Way, Way, Way Differently Than Women
Eventually, Kelly became his default therapist, soothing his anxieties as he fretted over work or family problems. For generations, men have been taught to reject traits like gentleness and sensitivity, leaving them without the tools to deal with internalized anger and frustration. Meanwhile, the female savior trope continues to be romanticized on the silver screen thanks Disney! Unlike women, who are encouraged to foster deep platonic intimacy from a young age, American men—with their puffed up chests, fist bumps, and awkward side hugs—grow up believing that they should not only behave like stoic robots in front of other men, but that women are the only people they are allowed to turn to for emotional support—if anyone at all. It has gained more traction recently as women, feeling increasingly burdened by unpaid emotional labor, have wised up to the toll of toxic masculinity, which keeps men isolated and incapable of leaning on each other. Across the spectrum, women seem to be complaining about the same thing: While they read countless self-help books, listen to podcasts, seek out career advisors, turn to female friends for advice and support, or spend a small fortune on therapists to deal with old wounds and current problems, the men in their lives simply rely on them. Both recently divorced, her brothers are already turning to her but never to each other to provide the support their wives used to. All the retired women I know are busier than ever, taking care of spouses, ailing friends, grandchildren, and parents, then doing some volunteering on the side.
The Emotional needs of a man is one of the most misunderstood emotions. Our emotions are a combination of a host of factors —mood, temperament, personality, motivation and disposition. That is to say that our emotions are a combination of mental activities and a degree of pleasure or displeasure.
He wondered if, as a man, his capacity for compassion was limited. This experience spoke to me of the tragedy in our society that labels men as unable to feel or connect to the same degree that women can. And that maturity in men means emotional stoicism, autonomy, and self-sufficiency—a lonely existence, for sure, particularly as research time and again shows we all need human connection to thrive.
Our emotional state often dictates how we behave, with men and women handling emotions in quite different ways. When upset, women are more likely to express their feelings directly and to seek the support of friends and family, whereas men might hide their emotions or withdraw. Men often feel that they need to be self-reliant and provide for their loved ones, so it is not appropriate to express their emotions.