Why cant i find a guy i want to date
Are you single and looking for love? Are you finding it hard to meet the right person? Life as a single person offers many rewards, such as being free to pursue your own hobbies and interests, learning how to enjoy your own company, and appreciating the quiet moments of solitude. For many of us, our emotional baggage can make finding the right romantic partner a difficult journey.SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: 2 Secrets That Get Him to Commit to You - Matthew Hussey, Get The Guy
SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: Why You Can't Get A Date (While Other Guys Can)Content:
- Can’t get a date? Ten things you may not have tried…
- 3 Reasons Why you Haven’t Found the Right Man Yet
- Ask A Guy: Why Do I Attract the Guys I Don’t Like and Not the Ones I Do?
- The 5 (And Only 5) Reasons You Haven’t Found Love Yet
- How to Get a Boyfriend: 10 Proven Tips To Get The Guy You Want
- 11 Mistakes Women Make That DESTROY Their Chances At Finding A Good Man
- Asking for a Friend: Why Can’t I Find Love?
- The Reason You Can’t Get a Date
- Dating Tips for Finding the Right Person
Can’t get a date? Ten things you may not have tried…
Being single for a certain amount of time has its benefits. I personally experienced the most growth and self-awareness during my years as a single girl, and while there were some painful and lonely moments, they all led me to a place where I could break through some of my walls and do some necessary inner work.
We continue to live life in the same way and hope that it will somehow lead to different results. To solve a problem, you need to understand it. Neediness is a state of mind where you feel incomplete, or have an emotional void, and try to fill this empty space with a relationship or male validation. Conversely, a man will run far away from a woman who sees him as an opportunity to feel good about herself or fill some void.
You feel like something is missing within yourself or in your life and erroneously believe a relationship will be the cure.
Instead of feeling sorry for yourself about being single, work on your relationship with yourself. Work on feeling your best and looking your best. I mean, just about every divorced couple loved each other at some point. We want to be swept off our feet and taken over by this all-consuming feeling of euphoria and harmony. This does not include things like how much money he makes or how far back his hairline is.
Obviously you want to be attracted to your husband, but try not to get so caught up in the physical details. Also jot down three deal-breakers. This will help you gain clarity and perspective and take you away from relying on the long dating checklist you may have formed in your mind. Unless there was something that absolutely repulsed you about him, give him another shot.
A lot of women are way too quick to dismiss a guy before really giving him a fair shot. Who knows where they would have ended up had they not given their future husbands another shot. Through our relationship, I can now see how the type of guy I thought I wanted would have been a disaster when paired with my personality type.
I, like most people, thought I knew myself way better than I actually did. A successful relationship comes down to two things: the right person at the right time. That is, what you are or think you are is what you will attract. If you are emotionally unavailable, you will attract a guy who is emotionally unavailable. Now, you can want to be in a relationship and at the same time be unavailable in your own way.
In order to attract a real relationship, you first need to make sure that you are in the right place emotionally.
Make sure you want a relationship for the right reasons, not just to fill a void or make you feel better about yourself. You also need to develop a firm sense of who you are and learn how to be happy without a relationship.
Good self-esteem attracts someone capable not only of healthy interactions but of loving you for who you are. If you want an emotionally healthy, confident, stable guy, then you need to make sure you mirror those qualities at the same level.
I mean, why would a guy like that want to be with someone who is an insecure emotional mess? If you want that kind of guy, you need to be that kind of girl.
This path with be different for everyone, but try as best you can to discover the best path for you. Every day my inbox gets flooded with questions from women plotting and strategizing to capture a man who does not seem to want to be captured…at least not by her. And the ones who were head over heels in love with me and willing to do anything for me?
And the heart wants what the heart wants, right? He was charming, charismatic, confident, fun, and always slightly beyond my grasp. He also had some deep-rooted emotional problems to deal with and some major commitment issues. And like many women, I wanted to be his healer, to be the woman who inspired him to break through his walls and finally commit. Damage cases are like a pair of super sexy shoes that are brutally uncomfortable. Then you take them off and experience euphoric relief, the most incredible feeling.
This experience is the same as dating an unavailable guy. But when you have him, you just feel pain and discomfort. Your stomach is in knots as you wait for the next text, or for a sign that he truly cares. Then he comes back, and relief. And on and on it goes. When I was younger I kept chasing the high of removing those painful shoes.
And I thought if only X would happen, then I would have that taking-shoes-off feeling forever. I decided that a comfortable pair of shoes that gave me the support I needed and a steady feeling of ease was much better than a sporadic shocking jolt of relief.
Kevin was the catalyst for this realization. It was devastating on many levels, especially to my ego! I mean, I was supposed to know better at that point—I was a relationship expert for crying out loud!
Solution: After a series of letdowns, of high hopes and thinking things would be different, followed by crushing disappointment and feeling like a fool for once again thinking the same story would have a different ending, I made a firm resolution to end this cycle for good.
To make a lasting change that would lead me to the kind of love and relationship I really wanted. After being crushed by Kevin yet again, I decided to sit down and ask myself some really tough questions. What was I getting out of this relationship?
What had he even given to me? I did a lot for him, but what had he ever actually done to show me he cared? The answer was nothing.
I was getting nothing out of the relationship except for quick shots of temporary validation whenever he seemed to reciprocate my interest, and that is just so very sad. And then I realized that I am not the kind of woman who needs that sort of thing anymore.
Next I looked at why I kept going back to Kevin even though it was clear that the relationship was a dead end. I thought long and hard about what I was getting from him that kept drawing me back in, and the answer went beyond validation. I realized that with Kevin I felt less alone and maybe a little understood.
Like me, he was a little lost and hurt, and that made me feel better in my own world of lost and hurt. I also considered what I was giving to the relationship if you could even call it that and why. Why was I so invested in solving his issues? Why was I so wrapped up in getting inside his head? The reason, I believe, is that getting lost in his drama was an escape from dealing with my own.
I had a reprieve from my own life and my own issues, one of which was why I was so drawn to damage cases like Kevin! I felt like I had a mission and a purpose, and that felt kind of nice…at least for a little while. Once I saw the situation for what it was, it lost all appeal for me. On our first date I could tell by the way he was looking at me that he was already smitten, that he had graduated from being a damage case back when he was 17 to husband material, that he was taking me and this seriously, and that I could trust him.
There was no hunt, no chase, no guessing games. Instead it made him even more appealing. Remember, damage cases are a waste of time and energy. More than anything else, the path that leads to lasting love involves making yourself a vessel to receive love.
A bad filter system sets you up for failure before your relationship has a chance to get off the ground, if you even get that far. Everyone has a certain ingrained filter system. This system is partially due to genetic wiring, but it is largely shaped by our experiences.
This filter system is often based on our interests, desires, and fears. The reason is we hone in on things that appeal to us and serve our interests in some way and ignore the rest.
And what is focused on and what is ignored varies from one person to the next. Your reality is created in large part by your filter system. Once you come to expect the behavior, you create a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Your fear will manifest itself in behavior like clinging more tightly to the relationship or being on guard for its inevitable end, which will, in turn, cause the relationship to unravel. Want proof? Close your eyes and pick a color. Visualize the color in your mind, picture items that are that color, see yourself dressed in that color, think about the emotions that color evokes. I guarantee it will be that color unless you did this in an all white room. If we dwell on something, even for under a minute, our mind becomes programmed to pick it up.
Reality is not objective; it is shaped by both what happens to us and how we interpret the things that happen to us. You need to be able to appreciate and acknowledge the goodness that is in you and in your relationship. If you let your fears run the show, you will set yourself up for sabotage.
First, you need to weed out faulty thought patterns. This applies not only to relationships, it applies to and can be used to enhance all areas of your life. Our thoughts have a huge impact on the way we feel, and since we can control what we think our thoughts are a very powerful tool once we start using them. I am also a big fan of keeping a gratitude journal.
This will re-train your brain to focus on the good. I have been hurt a lot over the years, for which I am thankful.
3 Reasons Why you Haven’t Found the Right Man Yet
This is going to be a hard pill to swallow, but have you ever thought that maybe you are the problem? Go ahead and stay single then, we are just trying to help you here. Have you ever considered that you are putting too much pressure on people to be awesome all the time? According to marriage and family therapist intern Michael Bouciquot:.
Good men are out there, but you might be wrecking your chances of meeting them. However, that means you need to find them. Whether they try to do it or not, many women end up shooting themselves in the foot when it comes to finding a nice guy to date. Here's why you can't find a good man.
Ask A Guy: Why Do I Attract the Guys I Don’t Like and Not the Ones I Do?
Ever notice how some people seem to have all the luck when it comes to dating? They put everyone else — those of us who would like to go on more dates — to shame. All it takes is one step inside the bar or even out their front door , and they are instantly swarmed with potential partners. OK, that may be a bit of an overstatement. But some people really do seem to have it easy. The cool thing to remember, however, is this — those who score dates aren't any more magical or alluring than you. They are simply doing some things right, while you are doing some things wrong. I know you aren't doing anything wrong on purpose , but there are certain bad habits that can make dating more difficult. One of them is waiting around for a relationship, like it'll come find you.
The 5 (And Only 5) Reasons You Haven’t Found Love Yet
What if….. By the way, there are exactly 7 signs that a woman is low value to men. Do you know what these signs are? And how to avoid them like the plague?
According to the UK census, women outnumber men by almost a million and suitable suitors are even scarcer for those with a university degree. So with a man shortage and only a handful of commitment-phobes in the dating pool, how do you beat the depressing odds of finding a date? These interests can then be used in your dating profile, which will attract interest from like-minded guys. Birger suggests that if a man perceives a woman to have many interested suitors his fear of rejection will increase and he is less likely to ask her out.
How to Get a Boyfriend: 10 Proven Tips To Get The Guy You Want
I understand. And the more you want it, the more desperate you can get in wanting a boyfriend. The more desperate you are…well…the less likely you are to attract a man. Even if inside you feel desperate and lonely, I want you to work toward projecting total confidence.SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: 7 Signs You May Not Be Ready for a Relationship
Meeting guys and having guys interested in me is not a problem. All you know is something a friend told you he said. Mindset is everything in dating. But you need to step up and stop programming your mind with garbage. Why not? Think about it.
11 Mistakes Women Make That DESTROY Their Chances At Finding A Good Man
Not to be mean to him…. I can get any guy i want but i love him and want to be with him. About Cygwin: 1. Dating is a journey. Men appreciate the female form, clothed or naked.
Falling in love with someone is one of the most wonderful and miraculous feelings that you can have in your entire life. It's a truly magical experience, and it's not surprising that there are countless songs, poems, and renowned pieces of literature that all try to capture the elation and thrill of falling head over heels. If finding love is truly a priority for you, then you should talk to your partner sooner rather than later about what you both want out of a relationship. That way, you can choose to be with someone who wants the same things you do and increases your chances of falling in love. The reality is that you have to risk getting hurt in order to find love, and even if it seems difficult to trust someone with your heart again, it's worth taking this leap of faith.
Asking for a Friend: Why Can’t I Find Love?
Being single for a certain amount of time has its benefits. I personally experienced the most growth and self-awareness during my years as a single girl, and while there were some painful and lonely moments, they all led me to a place where I could break through some of my walls and do some necessary inner work. We continue to live life in the same way and hope that it will somehow lead to different results.
The Reason You Can’t Get a Date
Dating Tips for Finding the Right Person