Site Logo
Looking for girlfriend > Looking for a girlfriend > Why is it so hard to find good guys

Why is it so hard to find good guys

The options are endless and people are restless. It sometimes feels like guys are a bit more guilty of actually acting on this, with many of them being hesitant to commit or happy to keep you on the back burner while they continue exploring the endless amounts of eligible women out there looking for love. Immature, lazy guys that lack ambition are pretty much an epidemic these days. They want to be kids for as long as possible and so they eschew the standards adult responsibilities and milestones in favor of getting drunk with his bros five nights a week and maybe finding a girl to hook up with every weekend. Many guys are intimidated by women who know themselves so well and who demand the best from life. The ones that do want to tie the knot are rare and likely already taken.

SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: good guys

Content:
SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: Girl Talk: Why Is It So Hard To Find Good Guys In New York! - Isha B-

Why are good men so hard to find?

Clearly, some people are single because they choose to be. They are simply not interested in being in a serious relationship at this time in their life. Others are single due to the circumstances of their lives. But the reality is that we hold more power over our romantic destiny than we often think.

To a great degree, we create the world we live in, although we are rarely conscious of this process. We can, in fact, make a choice whether to see our fate through a victimized lens or choose to be goal-directed and take power over our lives. We can become aware of the myriad of ways we influence the reactions we get from others, even the negative reactions.

So, the question for the single person looking for love is: what are the internal challenges I need to face? Most people have been hurt in interpersonal relationships. This process begins long before we start dating, in our childhoods, when hurtful interactions and dynamics lead us to put up walls or perceive the world through a filter that can negatively impact us as adults. These adaptations can cause us to become increasingly self-protective and closed off.

In our adult relationships, we may resist being too vulnerable or write people off too easily. If, for example, you were raised by parents or caretakers who were negligent or cold, you may grow up feeling distrusting of affection. You may then choose a partner who is aloof or distant.

When we act on our defenses, we tend to choose less-than-ideal relationship partners. We tend to feel devastated or hurt by the repeated rejections without recognizing that we are actually seeking out this pattern.

Why do we do this? The reasons are complex and often based on our own embedded fears of intimacy. Many people have an unconscious motivation to seek out relationships that reinforce critical thoughts they have long had toward themselves and replay negative aspects of their childhoods.

These may be unpleasant, but breaking with old patterns can cause us a great deal of anxiety and discomfort and make us feel strangely alien and alone in a more loving environment.

The reality is that most people can only tolerate a certain amount of closeness. We are defended about letting someone else in. Our own defenses often leave us feeling pickier and more judgmental. When viewing the world from critical or distrusting eyes, we tend to write off a range of potential partners before even giving them a chance. A friend of mine felt closed off to a man who pursued her for more than a year.

The men she was drawn to instead tended to be unreliable and emotionally distant. What she found, to her surprise, was a high-level relationship choice, a partner with whom she shared a great deal of mutual interest, and, ultimately, genuine love. We may actually find ourselves in a relationship that is so much more rewarding than those we have experienced.

They believe they want a fulfilling relationship more than anything, but they believe even more firmly that no one worthwhile would be interested in them. Our lack of confidence leaves us giving off signals of not being open, creating a catch 22 in the realm of dating.

Some struggle to make eye contact or are reluctant to scan the room for who they might be attracted to. When they are drawn to someone, they may fail to pursue their strongest attractions for lack of self-esteem. A lack of self-esteem often leads to fears of competing.

We may be afraid of looking like a fool or of not being chosen. The simple truth is: dating is competitive. It is scary to take a chance and go for what we want and compete, but when we do, we most often find it is well worth it to face our fears. We end up with a stronger sense of self, and we increase our chances of creating a relationship with the partner we really desire.

With age, people tend to retreat further and further into their comfort zones. Modern women are more and more successful, accomplished and self-sufficient, which are all extremely positive developments. Yet as both men and women get more comfortable, be it financially or practically, it is also easier for them to form a bubble from which it is difficult to emerge.

It can feel harder to take risks or put themselves out there. The encouragement we feel to stay home or stay safe often comes from our critical inner voice. Have a glass of wine. Watch that show you like. No one will be attracted to you. We should take action and make an effort to get out into the world, smile, make eye contact and let friends know we are looking for someone. We should try new activities and even try dating diverse people as a means to discover new parts of ourselves and what makes us happy.

As years pass, we often develop rulebooks for ourselves regarding dating. When we act on rules based on our past, we can create a perpetual cycle of disappointing relationships. A woman I know once dated someone with whom she had amazing chemistry. Staying open is one of the most important things we can do when looking for a loving partner.

Yes, we might get hurt but when we stop taking risks, we reduce our chances of meeting someone we could really have a future with.

Relationship rules tend to go hand-in-hand with game-playing. They can lead us to act with less sincerity and authenticity, to close ourselves off from how we feel. On the other hand, staying open and honest will lead us to find a much more authentic and substantial relationship.

We all carry flaws, and these vulnerabilities are especially apparent when getting close to one another. Thus, achieving intimacy is a brave battle, but it is one well-worth fighting for, each and every day, both within ourselves and, ultimately, within our relationships.

Well we cannot force it, can we?! I guess we should have to believe in that. It feels lonely being alone sometimes, but hey cheer up!! Probably there is a good reason. I guess!! Cheer up! Love is not an emotion.

It is something we do. Not something we feel. If you want to find love, find someone who is willing to make an effort at a relationship. Not just being in one, and waiting for some magical feeling to make it perfect. After that wears off, all you have left is communication and effort.

Where there is no communication or effort, there is no love. People are too driven by movie love story and assume that BS is going to really happen in reality. Love is work. Constant effort. By both people involved. We are animals, able to roam free when we can not be honed down one individual for the rest of our lives. Just wake up! I Agree.. Why put yourself through that? I always think. YES , totally agree Roger , at 59 still single but found better not happier to be alone than being in a few in a few bad relationships I had.

I have really not had much luck dating. I am a single mum and been single since my pregnancy. Been single for 3years and taking time to focus on my life career etc. But it is so so hard at times. But not impossible. Hmmm, Well i am older a just got out an 3 yr relationship that just ended beginning this year an totally the best decision I ever made.

Working on myself so when the right one comes can see the real truth which is me inside an out. I ended a seven year relationship a couple of months ago, so I kinda get it. This thing is not easy. I just have to trust the process. For me i really do not think this is me ,the men i do meet don,t have,,apartments, cars much money they eant to live off me these are the men that approach me ,i recently met a man that lied oh yes they lie and say their single ,they beg me for sex, money ,wanting to move with me they are no men who does thati am so tried of what is going on ,they never have money or car i fo not want anyti7.

Some people stay single because they want to. Some stay single because they want their undivided attention on something other than a relationship. Some stay single becasue they are forced to care for a sick parent. Some stay single to pursue higher education or jobs that will prevent them from focusing on a relationship. Some stay single because of devotion to God. People that are attractive are easier to love, but once that beauty is gone, good luck.

People have a tendency to settle for whatever they think they can get. If those preconceived factors were not prevalent, than there is little chance of a love connection.

Why It Is So Hard To Find A Good Man? Solutions!

During the first few dates with someone, you're both on your best behaviour — laughing at each others' jokes, flirting, and acting genuinely interested in what the other person is saying. But after a few weeks or months, things can turn sour, and the relationship might fizzle out. That's if you're not ghosted first. Read more : The 13 biggest mistakes you're making on dating apps — and how to stop.

Clearly, some people are single because they choose to be. They are simply not interested in being in a serious relationship at this time in their life.

Are you single and looking for love? Are you finding it hard to meet the right person? Life as a single person offers many rewards, such as being free to pursue your own hobbies and interests, learning how to enjoy your own company, and appreciating the quiet moments of solitude. For many of us, our emotional baggage can make finding the right romantic partner a difficult journey. Perhaps you grew up in a household where there was no role model of a solid, healthy relationship and you doubt that such a thing even exists.

A Good Man Is Getting Even Harder to Find

This is the sad truth of the modern dating world: a quality guy is just so damn difficult to find these days. A girl could lower her standards and her expectations to great degrees and she could still come up feeling cheated and disappointed. Why is it so hard to find a quality man nowadays? The idea of the quality gentleman has indeed changed and standards have evolved as well. Once you gain a better understanding of why the good men seem to be hiding from you, then maybe you can have a more holistic approach to finding a man you can really fall in love with. Here are 9 reasons why a quality guy is so hard to find:. More men just lean towards casual dating nowadays because of the culture that encourages non-committal relationships.

Why it’s so hard to find a decent guy to date?

Since the very beginning of time, maintaining a relationship and dating were the toughest of things around for us mortals. Women always crib about the guy they are dating, sometimes the guy is too possessive, jealous and disrespecting, at other times he is a flirt who fools with your best friend and the worst of it all is the one who ignores them. Women and their non-stop complaining attitude will never end, they want to meet someone exciting, someone in whom they see a potential for a meaningful relationship yet they will nag all the time. In any relationship there has to be a boundary, when you respect that line of control it is easier to give space to the other person. It will just make him more mad gradually, how you would feel if the same treatment is given to you.

The subject who is truly loyal to the Chief Magistrate will neither advise nor submit to arbitrary measures.

Well, I believe that this is a big question to ask yourself. Finding the answers can bring lots of positive change to your life, and I know that you will find a lot of truth right here in this article. Simply put, ever since sex became easier to get, real love became harder to find.

The real reasons that ‘good’ men can’t find a partner

There is something faintly ridiculous about their complaints, and I fully understand why Twitter is full of people laughing at them. But perhaps instead of laughing at these men or maybe as well as… we should address the true reasons that these men are struggling to find someone to love. They do like them. Lots of women, for instance, like sex.

Image Source: Shutterstock. Are all of the good men in hiding or are you the only one having trouble finding them? Every woman has experienced the struggle because it is hard to find a good man now more than ever. Now we want to know how you found your good man. Did you follow these rules? Share your story with us in the comment section.

9 Reasons Why A Quality Guy Is Hard To Find

Fit and attractive. Own my place. People say the Silicon Valley is full of guys, but not so much in my experience. It also took me a couple of years to get familiar with the dating norms here. Main menu Contents Want to see the real deal? More inside scoop? View in App close. Privacy and Terms.

Mar 20, - Why does finding the right man seem so hard right now? Have all the "good men" gone away? Perhaps there is another explanation.

In pre-pubescent times, the game is often played girls vs. When the girls are in hunt mode, they emulate their future selves by trying to find where their perfect men are hiding. She wisely chooses the place where her crush on the opposing team will be most likely to find her. She may be young, but her instincts tell her how to work it. When it comes to playing fields of dating and relationships, many of us set the bar quite high… maybe even too high to ever be found

Why are some men so terrible, and what can we do about it?

By Stephanie Gutmann. As Dr. She describes the elimination of recess at school and notes that competition in school sports was discouraged via the Everybody-Gets-a-Trophy mentality. Who can forget the Rolling Stone smear of an entire fraternity, charging its members with gang rape?

Science Says The Right Man Actually Is Hard To Find

A woman I was interviewing recently told me that a few months into a promising relationship, the man she was seeing suddenly stopped answering her texts. Worried, she sent him an email and then tried calling him, with the same results: No reply. Then she discovered that she was also blocked from his social media.

Even if we take our standards, expectations, and delusional hopes off the table and really look at the situation for what it is, we can clearly see that we are not to blame for the lack of good men. No, we have society who can take the blame for this one.

.

Dating Tips for Finding the Right Person

.

Reasons It’s Actually Hard To Find A Good Man (And How to Find One Anyway)

.

Comments: 4
  1. Vijas

    In my opinion you commit an error. I suggest it to discuss. Write to me in PM.

  2. Vudorn

    Bravo, your opinion is useful

  3. Tacage

    Analogues exist?

  4. Tozuru

    And it is effective?

Thanks! Your comment will appear after verification.
Add a comment

© 2020 Online - Advisor on specific issues.