Funny guys get friendzoned
So girls like guys who are assholes. Carnegie Hall only wants people with old, broken pianos that they treat like shit! We do want them to own pianos, but we want more than that. We want them to be able to read music and play with skill.
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2 Funny Things About the Friend Zone
So girls like guys who are assholes. Carnegie Hall only wants people with old, broken pianos that they treat like shit!
We do want them to own pianos, but we want more than that. We want them to be able to read music and play with skill. But I will eat junk if the only alternative is blandness. I require that people I relate to to be nice—to be respectful, caring, kind, good, and so on. What I like is dynamic people. Who wants to be conned or lied to?
So, sure, that is a factor, because there are many guys who behave that way, and almost every woman has had to deal with them. And, because those guys crop up so often, women can get fooled by false positives. It happens. Such guys make shitty boyfriends. This is because, by the time people reach 30, most know something about themselves. You have to put in the hours and the passion. You need to find something that interests you because it interests you, devote yourself to it, serve it, become skilled at it, make it better, and reach a stage of confidence with it.
And you need to learn how to share your passion for it with others. Note: sharing is a bi-directional form of communication. I want to waste a few more words on age: alas, so many people form strong opinions of the opposite sex in high-school and college. High-school girls are girls. Amongst other things, that means that just as is the case with most high-school boys , many of them are shallow.
Like all of us, they have to learn that by living and making mistakes. And, most of the boys these girls get to choose from are not fully formed. Most are nervous and totally lacking in confidence, and they deal with this by either being total messes or by cloaking their self-esteem issues with overwrought bravado, arrogance, and bullying behavior.
Some young girls—because they lack experience—are fooled into thinking that latter type is confident. By they time they reach their mid-to-late 20s, they mostly realize their mistake and start dating different sorts of guys, which works out well, because many guys have matured by then, too.
And, of course, women can sense that. They wisely avoid those guys. Which makes them hate women even more. It is not a special or unique phenomenon in dating culture — at least, not in the way that questions like these treat it. There is no set of conditions that you can meet that will make a woman obligated to return your feelings. For that matter, this is true for all people, not just women — but I see this attitude aimed at women more often than at men.
And often the guy who is being nice and the woman who is friend-zoning him have a completely different story about what is happening and why. These are all aspects of authenticity and personal power. The woman has no idea who this guy is, so there is no possibility of emotional connection.
And without emotional connection, there can be no desire or attraction. Also, by putting the woman on a pedestal, the guy is lowering himself. He signals that he sees himself as unworthy, and she agrees. But what they mean is be your own person. Think about that for a second. You need to go back to the drawing board. Platonic relationships start differently than romantic ones, and they progress differently, and the dynamics are totally different.
If you want a romantic relationship you have to stop being a coward and go for it in the beginning, instead of trying to slip your way into her heart through a less scary friendship. He does this with an agenda.
Well, excuse me. I prefer guys to be friends with me without checking off mental boxes. You should go out with me. I felt like he was waiting for me to break up with my boyfriend so he could swoop in like the Nice Guy TM. This guy is not truly nice. This guy carries a lot of resentment and anger towards women. They think that they deserve sex because they do the right things.
Just to be clear, this is different than romantic feelings that develop through friendship. Nice Guy TM goes into the friendship with the agenda to get me into bed. A total Nice Guy TM. This type is sadder than the former. Scaredy is fun, cool to hang out with, but he gives zero signals of his attraction to me. Women are also afraid of rejection. Most women send out subtle signals—touches, smiles, giggles—that indicate interest. Neither choice is appealing for most women.
An edge that cocky guys have is that they actually approach the girl and make their intentions clear. Many women will go with a sure thing over a possible rejection, road of least resistance. On a personal note, after an experience with a Mr.
Scaredy tM. It worked out well, for the most part. Aim for friendship and if a romantic or sexual relationship develops, then see it as a bonus, which is what it is!
If you tell me clearly that your interest in me is platonic at best then I would probably not have any interest in you. If you want a romantic relationship with someone then you need to lead by asking them out on a date. Why would they? Caring for someone does not create an obligation for the object of your affection to return your feelings.
Why is it so hard for some people to understand this? You love her. She is not heartless or a bitch if she does not return your love. Her heart and her soul are her own and not yours. No matter how nice or caring you are, you have no innate right to her affections. The idea of the friend zone illustrates this perfectly.
I think there are a few reasons. There are a few more factors, but I feel like these are the main ones. One thing I would urge guys who are getting friend-zoned all the time to think about is how little they have to lose when it comes to dating. When you pursue a woman, make your intentions clear through actions early on.
You just had an opportunity to fine-tune your game for the next one. Nice guys are friend-zoned because often, in their entirely admirable desire to be nice and respectful, they fail to seize the opportunities to express their interest in something a bit more romantic.
I was often friend-zoned in my teen years and early 20s. I did a lot of facepalming in response to revelations like that. The whole concept of friendzoning is based on mismatched expectations. I blame the media. In countless books and movies the eager young hero falls for a lovely young girl. In the end she falls for him, the music swells and they kiss. We cheer for it because we like this kind of story. Culture teaches us that the guy ends up getting the girl in the end. This happens to girls as well.
They have crushes and get attached to the wrong people. But it works a little differently because of other cultural artifacts. Guys are supposed to be the initiators. They are supposed to put themselves out there. Girls are supposed to wait for the guy to call them.
If they never say anything then the problem never comes up. They are funny, or outgoing, or charming, or smart. Sign up for the Thought Catalog Weekly and get the best stories from the week to your inbox every Friday. You may unsubscribe at any time. By subscribing, you agree to the terms of our Privacy Statement.
Why Do Nice Guys Get Friend Zoned?
To be clear here, the Friend Zone is when you have a sexual interest in a woman and you want to have a sexual romantic relationship with her, but she only sees you as a friend. Some women place guys in the Friend Zone because they have absolutely no interest in the guy and would never date a guy like him, but in most situations when a guy is in the Friend Zone, he has actually placed himself there. He is talking to her and trying to hang out with her and build up some sort of relationship so something happens. Yet, as you may have seen in your life, when a guy uses that approach with a woman, all it usually takes for him to be pushed to the sidelines is for another guy to come along and make her feel attracted. Why did she do that?
18 Jokes About The Friend Zone That Will Make Women Laugh